I am perfectly aware that very little in the universe is actually in my control, but that doesn’t take away the anxiety that comes when things don’t go as expected. Naturally, with my BPD I don’t do particularly well with sudden change when its not in my control.

I have my numerous “coping mechanisms” that help me adapt to change and i have been working on more to assist me for when the baby is here. Lets be honest they are as unpredictable is it comes and i have therefore done my best to avoid expectations. That’s not the problem though or the cause of my current anxiety. Other people’s schedule changes is the cause…

My partner and i are currently living with his parents. A very convenient situation for all parties involved. Everyone works except for me. I have become accustomed to the routine of others, however, lately everyone seems to have sudden unpredictable changes to their routines. This is what’s causing me to have problems with anxiety.For example, I expect my mother-in-law to be home at 3pm every day, but lately she has been working on a very inconsistent time schedule. Another example is that my partner just started a new job and a new job routine, coming home different times daily.

There is no way i can control other people’s schedules and I’m not exactly sure why it’s causing me so much anxiety lately. I get thoughts of them being in trouble somehow and that’s why they late or i start feeling lonely and just….anxious! I need to sit and try to find the root of my anxiety, find a way to control it, because that i can control. Open to suggestions???

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