As a young child I endured a lot of trauma and heartache. I experienced things at a young age. Things no child should experience. Now, as a mom-to-be, I can’t help but fear my child ever experiencing the similar pain. It’s said that one should learn from experiences and I can’t help but think that maybe what I should learn from mine is that my child needs protection from everyone. I was hurt by someone I trust, so should I keep my child from even those I trust? Is that what I should learn from my past? I keep people at such a distance, but I don’t know if it’s right to raise my own child to have a preferences for isolation and lack trust in others like I do. I need to find a way to overcome my fears. To let go of negative thoughts. To figure out how to give my child the protection she needs without leaving her emotionally damaged like me…

Thats not the worst part… what if she inherits my mental illness? what if  the world is difficult for her as it has been to me. I cant protect her from herself. can i?

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