Since the beginning of time humans have searched for companionship, and an idealistic image of love. Why?? why did God install this desire in his children?? Surely loving him is all we would need and all he would want. Why complicate it by letting us love more than just him? what was the purpose? was it so we could be more compassionate towards each other or was it perhaps a part of his plan of “giving us a choice”. Is it his way of testing our faith.

our fingers nudging the sides of each other’s hands. the sweet regrettable moment of the beginning of a “love”. That breath-taking, light-headed feeling of drifting in the wind like a dandelion in a gentle storm begins to overwhelm one’s being. Hands touching, the motion begins. Waves of a cocktail of love, lust and infatuation, motioning your actions towards a life long commitment with someone you assume is not a stranger. Hands, lips, heart, body, and soul all seem to start to connect with the other humans. As if by some miracle your fate and subconscious know something you don’t and so they begin to lead your figurative heart down an endless stream of emotions. this uncontrollable, almost indescribable reaction to someone elses actions and components of their being, begins to change one’s mind and direction in a different way than one can on their own. The world manipulates itself around you in an almost synchronized pattern with your emotions. When you are blissful, everything around you becomes brighter, happier, and more tranquil. However when the doubt and anxiety start streaming in, the world becomes a deceptive thief in your homes clothes. The worst is the anger and rage, the secondary emotion, that turns one’s world into a temperamental, frustrating, furness of hatred. This is where ones view of the world gets stuck like a frozen phone screen, your view of it all stays the same. The world seems to have unravelled into nothing but thousands of lies and murderous, selfish intentions of others. You begin to feel that if it hadn’t been for that love, the world would still be a beautiful place. At first you seem thankful that this “truth” has been revealed but then… when it becomes almost impossible to find happiness and beauty in the world. You begin to wish that you were naive again and knew nothing but the blissful side of the world. The world before love, the neutral, self contented world that only you could decide what it should be to you. It is at this point when that first moment of the beginning of a love becomes a regret…. The world can now never be neutral again. If love is found in the dark shadows of your condemned distorted image of a the world, only then is there hope. Hope that the world will be blissful again. Hope that your emotions that the world eternally dances with will be ones of unchanging joy. ..However, if love is not found again. GENUINE Love for anything, in anything then the only destiny set out is turmoil.
Look for that second love. Be it yourself, nature, God, or another living creature…Find that love that will turn your world around again. For this reason God’s love should be the first option, because His love is unfailing, unconditional and He is always their to receive your love because He always loves you. Maybe… hopefully ill find love in my newborn child. I sure know i love her already and im only 19 weeks pregnant.

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