To some a dog is just a dog, but to me my Carla Jane is one of my reasons to live.
She continuously brings light into my dark days. She has been my companion through lonely times. That irreplaceable unconditional love from her brought healing to my broken heart. Many times she gave me a reason to live when I almost gave up. She is my life saver!
When I was first diagnosed it took a while for me to adjust and start new. Acceptance of the lose of loved ones was one of the hardest parts. I was hospitalized under ‘suicide watch’ where I met a lady who had been diagnosed for 7years with bipolar. She suggested that when I get out I consider a pet. With BPD many say it is difficult to keep bonds with anything and I had struggled with relationships before, but I gave it a shot.
I took in a puppy that had been rescued and we connected instantly. There were days when she kept me going by simply being there and reminding me that she needed me. I was reluctant to be on medication and she was very sick when I got her. Seeing her be brave and take her meds to get better gave me motivation to take mine too. In the mornings I’d show her I’m taking my meds, and then she would lay still for her injections.
I can’t explain how much she means to me! In a way she helped me build my confidence when it came to keeping relationships, she showed me I could do it. I could be loved!
When it came to social issues, she was my support and got my to where I am now. I take her everywhere with me and trained her well. I started to go out and do things again, feeling safe with her by my side. As silly as it seems having her to talk to has turned out to be the best way to clear my head. Sometimes I’m sure she understands. The personality shines through her and brings a smile to my face when I need it most.
I love my Carla Jane, she is a border collie cross German Shepard. A healthy and fit life long friend 🙂
*this post is in honor of national dog day*